AN ENGLISH MAJOR-TURNED-CONSULTANT'S GUIDE TO RIGHT NOW

Alternate title: Dear President Trump Please Stop Offending Not Just Reality But Also Actual Fiction

Made this for anyone who has been having trouble keeping things straight recently. As a human being, I'm offended by his assault on facts. As someone in the process of writing a novel, I'm offended by the bad name he is giving to fiction. 

INAUGURATION 2017: SARTORIAL SUBTEXT

The Obamas and the Trumps, Inauguration Day 2017.

Melania Trump's inauguration ensemble perhaps bore an even greater debt to Jackie Kennedy's than her RNC speech did to Michelle Obama's. The internet is a-flutter with comparisons; there would have probably been even more had Kellyanne Conway not showed up dressed as Paddington Bear.

Jacqueline and John F. Kennedy at his Inauguration, 1961.

It's a move reflective of her husband's campaign's nostalgic overtones and an aggressively "I'm-the-first-lady"-looking look, and yet--intentionally, I hope--her choice can also be interpreted as an olive branch, and perhaps even subversive.

Jackie Kennedy was a democrat whose famous powder-blue suit perfectly matched her husband's tie; collectively they recognized yet muted the traditional blue of their party in the act of becoming President and First Lady of the entire American populace. 

In contrast, Donald wore unadulterated Republican/MAGA red--and as a republican First Lady, the same powder blue carries different connotations. I'd read Melania's Ralph Lauren more as a Declaration of Independence from her husband if (in a coordinated effort that just had to be intentional) Michelle Obama wasn't wearing burgundy in contrast to President Obama's traditional, Democratic blue tie.

Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Trump today.

It has to be said that if you crop out Donald, it's a moving, beautiful image. Two powerful women, an African American and an immigrant, embracing one another warmly, clad in the color family of the other's party. It gives a sense of respect without deference, of a unified appeal for unity. They ooze FLOTUS glamour. It's worthy of the cover of Vogue.

It's also a sentiment that echoes Michelle's choices for both of her husband's own inaugurations. She wore yellow--the third, and only neutral, primary color--in 2009, and, along with her daughters, shades of violet in 2013--the secondary product of mixing red and blue.

The Obamas at his Inauguration in 2009.

Mrs. Obama with her daughters at her husband's Inauguration in 2013.

Maybe it's because I want to see it, to find something positive about this miserable day and the gut-wrenching Presidential ascension of a man whose behavior would have gotten him fired from basically any other job in this country instead of an experienced, resilient woman (who also wore Ralph Lauren today) succeeding a leader of such dignity and intelligence, but Michelle and Melania gave me a twinge of hope, which, as I looked closer, sartorial details seemed to support. It was not just Melania's suit, but also her gloves and shoes that were icy blue. The jacket has an enveloping high neck. Her diamond earrings reflect and appear the same color as her gloves. It's unilaterally, unequivocally blue, while if you look closely, Michelle's burgundy has flecks of navy, as well as navy trim around the collar and sleeves. Burgundy is the general impression, but it's a patchwork of colors creating it.

For a woman wrapping up her tenure, the crew-style top and short sleeves evoke a readiness to get to work, which is, of course, what we all need to do. And Melania seems, in, albeit, a quiet way, to want to help. With this outfit, she's fully accepting her supportive public role yet intimating that her own private opinions can differ from her husband's. I hope I'm right.

POLITICAL MYTHOLOGY AND GOAT YOGA

When I read this article on "Goat Yoga," in the New York Times last week, my immediate thought was, this is it, this is why Donald Trump won the election. We thought freedom and human rights, diversity and respect, different and weird had already won--we still had some unconscious biases to weed out, sure, but we were comfortable enough that at least formally, consciously, aspirationally, America was a country of reason and respect and humanism for us to allow ourselves this kind of kumbaya capitalist decadence. 

Of course it's more complicated than that, but it was my first thought. It falls in line with numerous Rome-analogy pieces like this one from March 2016--disturbingly far in advance of the election--that are taking on a knew significance now, as the hogwash but powerful Mythology of Trump bleeds into full-on garish hyperreality.

Goat Yoga has everything you could possibly want in a news story right now to comfort the reeling elite liberal ego: off-beat intrigue, factual reporting, adjectives like "hummocky"; a hip way to get healthy exercise with a global internet community and a mantra of inclusion (despite its definitionally-expensive actual physical requirements).* It's comfortable and warm; the mere existence of such an article leads us to feel like we're living in a Hillary Clinton world. It's the very feeling that, perhaps, prevented us from actually living in one.

We need a better MacGuffin, sadly, one farther removed from detail and fact. As different as Trump's and Obama's objectives and ideologies, and as measured and pragmatic as the latter has been as President, as candidates, they won the same way: with a general, blanket feeling you could twist to build your own narrative on. It's a rhetorical platform you can use to incite discord as well as harmony, for anger and fear as for hope. They both, notably, tapped into a fervent desire for change. We now need a new mythic counter-mechanism, another unifying, positive emotion with the power to override things like goat yoga for our attention. I'm not sure yet what the the right MacGuffin-myth is--i think, maybe, Bernie hit a chord close to it--but I have my eyes peeled. 

*When I re-read this sentence I realized it sounded like Stefon from SNL reviewing the city's hottest new club, but decided to stand by it, yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.